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She was confused and a bit outraged atthe same time when it came to how to treat me. Needless to say, I didn'tget either the purse or dress for my birthday. What I did get was a deepdisappointing feeling and a wonder if my mother loved me or secretlyhated me for who I really was. Dad didn't help any with those feelings.Every time he called me his big guy when I wanted to be his sweetprincess or hear him complain about not taking my shirt off at thebeach, I wanted to cut my throat open. I could never get dad tounderstand how going topless didn't feel right to me and I longed towear a woman's one piece bathing suit rather than a pair of male trunks.I did not let such feelings stop me from being myself. In games of houseI'd left my younger cousin, Philip be the father so I could put a pillowunder my shirt and pretend to be the pregnant sister in the family.While I tried to be a good sport in games of backyard football and cops& robbers with my neighborhood friends, I preferred going to. In buying bought the small house in 2001, we had planned to upgrade the house – which was the only way we could afford to buy a home at the time. We had done little things over the previous 3-1/2 years, but nothing major. Throughout January, our days were filled with many trips to the local Home Depot, and many hours painting, replacing tile, and much, much more. We also acquired a 40-inch TV and impressive surround-sound speaker system, upgraded to digital cable and to high-speed cable-based Internet, and bought the Power Mac G5 we had both been drooling over for quite some time. However, we went against our friends’ expectations and did not buy new cars. Julie and I loved our old Ford Escort and even older Volkswagen Rabbit too much to give them up quite yet. Besides, we would need to first have a garage built to adequately protect the Corvette we wanted. The evenings in January were often spent planning our upcoming trip to Paris – often over dinner at expensive restaurants we.
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